


Grief is the Price We Pay for Love

by DisasterBiCaptainCold (CaptainAmericasShield)



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: I don't always kill characters that didn't canonically, I don't always write but when I do I make it super angsty, Len never screws up but when he does he pays for it, Leonard Snart deserves better 2kForever, M/M, My brain is just over here like 'write all the angst', Sara Lance is a good friend, but when I do I kill half a ship and leave the other person to mourn, i made myself sad writing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22235335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAmericasShield/pseuds/DisasterBiCaptainCold
Summary: Leonard Snart tries to have every job planned out so as few people would get hurt as possible. When one small miscalculation causes the plan to go off the rails and leaves Mick dead, he blames himself, pushing away everyone on the Waverider and refusing to talk about what happened. The rest of the crew tries to stop him from blaming himself, but how can they when Len has lost the one person who ever cared about him?
Relationships: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Grief is the Price We Pay for Love

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Can I ever write anything but angst? No, no I can’t. C’est la vie, I suppose. All I can say is I'm so sorry. Thank you so much to the people that beta read this, you helped me so much.

**_Grief is the Price We Pay for Love_ **

_“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”_

_-CS Lewis_

_“Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.”_

_\- Veronica Roth_

  
  


**Prologue:**

It happened so fast. It was a simple job, no one was supposed to get hurt. He had triple-checked the plan like always, but somehow he was off by a second or less. One minute Mick was right behind him, lighting everything on fire (as he did and Len loved him for it), and the next minute he was on the ground, blood seeping onto the pavement. Len fired blindly into the night, praying he was able to hit anyone in the area. 

When the gunfire eventually stopped, Len crouched down next to Mick and examined the bullet wound in his side. He knew it was fatal before he was able to get a good look at it. Mick had lost too much blood. Still, he had to stop the bleeding. He couldn’t let Mick die without trying to save him, no matter how futile his attempts were. He grabbed the jacket off of the nearest guard and wadded it up, pressing it against the wound in Mick’s side. Mick winced in pain and Len’s heart broke. 

The Waverider was supposed to be there shortly to extract them, but Len knew it wouldn’t be there in time to get Mick the medical attention he so desperately needed. If they wouldn’t have stayed with the Legends, they wouldn’t have been on this job in the first place. They should have left when Mick wanted to. If they had, Mick wouldn’t be dying on the ground in front of him.

“God, Mick, I’m so sorry, I must have fucked up somewhere with the planning, I must have miscalculated something, I-” Len stopped himself. He didn’t want to spend the little time he had left with Mick rambling about how it was all his fault. He hated seeing his partner in this much pain. He kicked himself for not checking the calculations again, for not going over the plan again, for putting them in a situation where one of them could get hurt.

“Len,” Mick rasped. “It- It’s not your fault.”

“I- I’m the one that did the planning. You know me, I’m always careful. I never wanted anyone to get hurt, _especially_ not you. I can’t lose you Mick.” Len paused again. He felt like he was in a nightmare. He couldn’t focus on anything but Mick. Nothing else mattered. They had both been hurt before, but never this seriously. Never to the point where there was a chance either of them would die.

Mick Rory was more than the closest thing Len had to a friend, he was his partner in more than one sense of the word. They’d had their fights, but they always were able to forgive each other.

“I could have lost you.”

“Mick, what are you talking about?”

“You had your back to one of the gunmen. I moved behind you to try and take him out, but-” Mick paused and took a raspy breath. “I- I wasn’t fast enough.” Len’s heart sank. Mick had been fatally injured protecting _him_.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I couldn’t let you die.”

“And you think I wanted _you_ to die instead?” Len was more hurt than angry. He couldn’t be angry at him, especially not when Mick was laying in front of him bleeding out and clearly in pain despite his best efforts to hide it.

“Better me than you.” 

“Mick,” Len said softly. “Mick, no. You’re wrong,” he continued, pressing a kiss to his forehead trying to sound as comforting as he could, despite the fact he was internally panicking.

“I’m sorry Len. I’m sorry for all of the times we’ve fought over stupid things. I’m sorry for all of the times I’ve fucked up. I’m sorry for-”

“Mick, stop. Please, just stop. You know I love you, right?”

Mick just nodded silently. Before Mick could say anything, Len leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into an embrace.

“I love you, Len,” Mick whispered.

“I love you too, Mick,” Len responded, trying desperately to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

Leonard Snart had gone through his whole life trying not to form attachments, trying not to fall in love. Mick Rory had changed that. He was the one that had been able to break down his walls and get him to open up, the only person Len felt like he could be himself around.

Mick hummed and put his head on Len’s shoulder. Len felt Mick’s shallow breathing slow, and with one last shuddering breath, stop. Mick’s body fell limp against Len, who held him tighter and buried his face in Mick’s shoulder. Len felt his world crashing down around him.

“I’m sorry Mick, I’m so sorry,” Len whispered, silent tears beginning to fall. He took the time before the rest of the crew of the Waverider arrived to grieve on his own. He knew it would be impossible for him to mourn the loss of his friend and his partner surrounded by other people he didn’t entirely trust. Mick was the only one he could show any weakness around. He knew Mick would never see him any differently. For the longest time, it had just been the two of them. They had been with each other through a lot, and they always had each other’s backs. Len would never forgive himself. Not when he knew Mick sacrificed himself to save him. There was a gaping hole in his life and his heart he would never be able to fill. Len held Mick in his arms and wept. Mick had always been the best part of his life, and now he was gone, dead because of him. He blamed himself for Mick’s death, and he wasn’t sure whether or not he would ever be able to live with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated :) This will be updated slowly because adulting is very time consuming, but I promise it will be updated as time permits me to write.


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